You signed something at the front desk. This article explains what it did. It works through the three separate doctrines that get confused with each other — the contractual release, the tort doctrine of primary assumption of risk, and the statutory inherent-risk immunities that legislatures enacted for skiing, equine activities, and other sports. It covers why a release almost never survives a gross negligence allegation, why a parent's signature may not bind a child, and why the same form is decisive in one state and nearly worthless in the next. It covers recreational use statutes that immunize landowners who open land for free, the arbitration clauses now standard in gym and trampoline park agreements, and the government-defendant problem when the injury happens in a public park. It closes with what actually determines whether a recreational injury claim survives.