Eviction is the fastest civil proceeding most Americans will ever face, and speed is the entire point of its design. This article explains what an eviction case actually is, why it moves in weeks rather than years, and the four distinct places where it can be stopped. It covers the pre-court notice that is a jurisdictional prerequisite rather than a formality, and the defects in it that end cases outright. It explains the implied warranty of habitability from Javins and the retaliation defense from Edwards v. Habib, and why both are affirmative defenses that vanish if not raised. It covers service of process, the Greene v. Lindsey problem with posting, and default judgments. It explains what Lindsey v. Normet actually held, which is narrower than either side usually claims. It covers subsidized housing, where a second body of federal law applies, and fair housing accommodation requests. It closes with what happens after judgment, why self-help lockouts are unlawful, and what an eviction filing does to a record for years afterward.