Checklist · Family Law

Obtaining or Responding to a Protective Order: A Practical Checklist

18 U.S.C. § 922

Type: Checklist
Jurisdiction: National
Date: 2025-07-26
Topic: Family Law

This checklist runs a protective order matter from intake through renewal, with parallel tracks for petitioners and respondents. Phase 1 screens eligibility — relationship, conduct, and order type — which is where petitions most often fail before the merits, and Phase 2 assembles evidence and builds the one-page chronology that decides these short hearings. Phase 3 drafts the petition and requests every form of relief the statute permits rather than only a no-contact provision, and Phase 4 covers the ex parte appearance and the credible-threat finding that makes the federal firearms prohibition attach. Phase 5 covers service and the safety planning that belongs between filing and service, which is the most dangerous moment in the process. Phase 6 is the full hearing for both sides, including the predominant-aggressor analysis that should replace reflexive mutual orders. Phase 7 covers enforcement, the violation log, and the contempt route available when the criminal route stalls. Phase 8 covers the housing, immigration, and employment protections petitioners rarely claim, plus the renewal date that orders lapse without. Model language, an authorities table, and a ranked failure-mode list are included.

Obtaining or Responding to a Protective Order: A Practical Checklist

Family Law > Protective Orders | Published 26 July 2025 - Updated 7 July 2026 | UpLaw - uplaw.us

Two items decide more of these matters than anything else: the credible-threat finding, which makes the federal firearms prohibition attach, and the plan for the night of service, which is the most dangerous moment in the process.

Keywords: eligibility screen, chronology, relief requested, firearms surrender, service, hearing proof, violation log, renewal

How to use this checklist

Phases run in order, with petitioner and respondent items marked where they differ. Under each are - [ ] items and a Why it matters, and the traps note. A running hypothetical — Ondine Marchetti (fictional), threatened but not struck — makes it concrete.

Doctrine is in Domestic Violence Protective Orders: A Comprehensive Guide to Petitions, Hearings, Firearms, and Enforcement. The narrative introduction is The Order That Has to Be Enforced: Protective Orders and the Gap Between Paper and Safety. The resource map is The Domestic Violence and Protective Order Toolkit.

Phase 1 — Screen eligibility

[ ] Identify the relationship: spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, co-parent, dating, family member.
[ ] If none qualifies, identify the harassment or stalking statute instead.
[ ] Identify the conduct alleged against the statute's enumerated grounds.
[ ] Confirm that physical injury is not required — it is not, in any state.
[ ] Check whether the state recognizes a pattern of coercive control.
[ ] Identify which order type offers the relief actually needed.
[ ] Ask about firearms — owned, seen, believed to exist, and where kept.
[ ] Ask about immigration status, privately.
[ ] Ask about children, housing, income, and the vehicle.

Why it matters, and the traps. The relationship requirement defeats petitions constantly. A person harassed by a neighbor or coworker cannot use the domestic violence statute and must use the harassment statute, which generally offers no possession, custody, or support relief.

The belief that a physical injury is required deters a substantial number of eligible petitioners. Threats, blocking an exit, taking a phone, and property destruction are within the statutes.

Ask about firearms in the first five minutes. It drives the most consequential provision in the order.

Worked example. Ondine is married; her husband blocked a doorway, took her phone, and threatened to take the children, and has twice punched a wall beside her head. That is squarely within the statute.

Phase 2 — Assemble evidence and build the chronology

[ ] Preserve messages, voicemails, and call logs — screenshot with dates visible, backed up off-device.
[ ] Photograph injuries with a date stamp and a reference object for scale.
[ ] Photograph property damage — holes, broken doors, damaged belongings.
[ ] Obtain medical records from any treatment.
[ ] Obtain police reports and incident numbers.
[ ] Identify witnesses who observed something specific.
[ ] Collect contemporaneous reports made to friends, supervisors, or schools.
[ ] Build a one-page chronology: date, location, what happened, what proves it.
[ ] Do not use a shared device to gather any of this.

Why it matters, and the traps. Hearings run fifteen to thirty minutes on a thin record, and the chronology lets a judge see a pattern that individual incidents do not convey.

Preserve rather than describe. A message shown beats a message recalled, and authentication in these proceedings is looser than at trial but not absent. See Getting Website Evidence Admitted: A Practical Authentication Checklist.

Exaggeration is the most damaging error. A petitioner whose account overstates one incident invites the court to discount the rest.

Phase 3 — Draft the petition

[ ] Write the narrative in dates, locations, and quoted words — no characterization.
[ ] Attach exhibits and reference them.
[ ] Request no contact — direct, indirect, and through third parties.
[ ] Request stay-away from residence, workplace, school, and daycare, with a distance.
[ ] Request exclusive possession of the residence.
[ ] Request temporary custody and a supervised or facilitated exchange schedule.
[ ] Request temporary child and spousal support.
[ ] Request firearms surrender with a deadline and proof of compliance.
[ ] Request possession of the vehicle, phone, and pets, and a civil standby for property retrieval.
[ ] Request a prohibition on cancelling insurance or utilities and on incurring joint debt.
[ ] Request address confidentiality, or enroll separately in the state program.
[ ] Expressly request a finding that the respondent poses a credible threat to physical safety.

Why it matters, and the traps. Petitioners routinely request only no-contact, and courts grant what is requested. The possession and support provisions determine whether the petitioner can practically leave; an order handed to someone with no income, no vehicle, and no access to the home is an order they cannot use.

The credible-threat finding is the item most often omitted and the one that makes the federal firearms prohibition attach under 18 U.S.C. § 922, with definitions at 18 U.S.C. § 921. An order that contains neither the finding nor an explicit prohibition on the use of force does not qualify.

Phase 4 — The ex parte appearance

[ ] File at the courthouse — no filing fee for domestic violence petitions.
[ ] Ask for the court's self-help center or victim advocate.
[ ] Be prepared to testify briefly about the most recent incident.
[ ] Bring the exhibits and the chronology.
[ ] Confirm the temporary order contains every provision requested, including firearms and the finding.
[ ] Confirm the hearing date and calendar it.
[ ] Obtain multiple certified copies.
[ ] Ask how service will be effected and by whom.

Why it matters, and the traps. The temporary order sets the baseline for the full hearing; provisions omitted now are harder to add later.

Read the order before leaving the building. Courts use forms with checkboxes, and a clerk's omission is fixable at the counter and difficult afterward.

Phase 5 — Service, and the safety plan

Petitioner

[ ] Confirm law enforcement will serve, at no charge.
[ ] Know when service will occur.
[ ] Plan where you will be that night and the following twenty-four hours.
[ ] Tell one person outside the household what is happening.
[ ] Move identification, immigration papers, insurance cards, and medication lists somewhere unreachable.
[ ] Open an account at an institution the respondent does not use.
[ ] Change passwords from a device the respondent has never touched.
[ ] Check shared cloud accounts, family location sharing, vehicle connected services, and smart devices.
[ ] Give copies of the order to schools, daycare, workplace security, and building management, with a photograph of the respondent.
[ ] If service fails, request alternative service and an extension of the temporary order.

Why it matters, and the traps. The order is unenforceable until served, and service is the most dangerous moment in the process. Safety planning belongs between filing and service, not after.

The technology check is not optional. Shared accounts, location sharing, and applications installed on a gifted phone are the most common modern surveillance vectors.

Phase 6 — The full hearing

Petitioner

[ ] Appear. Non-appearance results in dismissal.
[ ] Bring exhibits, the chronology, and any witness.
[ ] Testify to dates, locations, and words — not to characterizations.
[ ] Concede what is true; credibility carries the hearing.
[ ] Ask again for every provision, including the credible-threat finding and firearms surrender.
[ ] Request the longest duration the statute allows.

Respondent

[ ] Appear. A default order is entered on the petitioner's account alone.
[ ] Retain counsel if possible.
[ ] Do not testify if criminal charges are pending or likely, without advice.
[ ] Offer context and specificity rather than blanket denial: full message threads, documented timing, sequence.
[ ] If a cross-petition is genuine, file it and seek predominant-aggressor findings rather than agreeing to a mutual order.
[ ] Be prepared to address firearms surrender, housing, and parenting time concretely.

Why it matters, and the traps. The standard is generally preponderance of the evidence. Blanket denial against a documented pattern does not work; context and specificity do.

Mutual orders are disfavored. One entered without a cross-petition and specific findings is not entitled to full faith and credit under 18 U.S.C. § 2265 and can undercut the firearms prohibition.

Phase 7 — Enforcement

[ ] Keep a violation log: date, time, location, what happened, witnesses, evidence, whether reported.
[ ] Screenshot every message with the date visible; save voicemails.
[ ] Report every violation, even when nothing appears to happen.
[ ] Pursue contempt where the criminal route stalls — the petitioner may initiate it.
[ ] Register the order in a new state if you move, though registration is not required for enforcement.
[ ] Confirm the firearms surrender occurred and that proof was filed; move to enforce if not.
[ ] Where the respondent crosses state lines, note the federal offenses.

Why it matters, and the traps. A violation is typically both a criminal offense and civil contempt, running in parallel. The contempt route is the one the petitioner controls.

Portability is automatic under 18 U.S.C. § 2265, with definitions at 18 U.S.C. § 2266. Federal offenses reach interstate conduct: 18 U.S.C. § 2261, 18 U.S.C. § 2261a, and 18 U.S.C. § 2262.

And note the constitutional limit: under Town of Castle Rock v. Gonzales, 545 U.S. 748 (2005), building on DeShaney v. Winnebago County Department of Social Services, 489 U.S. 189 (1989), there is no due-process entitlement to police enforcement. Enforcement must be pursued, not assumed.

Phase 8 — Collateral protections and renewal

[ ] Housing: lease termination without penalty; emergency transfer; bifurcation to remove the perpetrator — 42 U.S.C. § 1437d, 42 U.S.C. § 1437f, 42 U.S.C. § 3604.
[ ] Immigration: self-petition for abused spouses and children — 8 U.S.C. § 1154; crime-victim visa where law enforcement is assisted.
[ ] Employment: leave for court appearances; unemployment good cause for leaving work for safety.
[ ] Address confidentiality program enrollment.
[ ] Custody: assert the statutory presumption or required consideration in any family case.
[ ] Crime victim compensation for medical costs, counseling, and relocation.
[ ] Calendar the renewal date at least sixty days before expiration.

Why it matters, and the traps. These are the protections petitioners rarely claim and that frequently matter more than the order. The immigration self-petition in particular is transformative for a person whose status is controlled by the abuser, and it is almost never mentioned at a courthouse.

Renewal generally requires only continuing reasonable fear, not a new act — a materially lower standard than the original petition, and one petitioners do not know. Orders lapse for this reason constantly.

Model language

A. Petition narrative

"On 14 February 2026 at about 9:00 p.m., in the kitchen at [address], Respondent blocked my exit from the room, took my phone from my hand, and said, 'If you leave I will take the children and you will never find them.' On 3 November 2025 and 8 January 2026 Respondent punched the wall beside my head, leaving holes still visible. Photographs are Exhibits 1 and 2."

B. Firearms request

"Petitioner requests that the Court find that Respondent represents a credible threat to the physical safety of Petitioner, and order Respondent to surrender all firearms and ammunition to [law enforcement agency] within 24 hours of service and to file written proof of compliance with the Court within 48 hours."

C. Violation log entry

"3 March 2026, 7:42 p.m., workplace parking lot at [address]. Respondent's vehicle (silver [make], plate [number]) parked facing the entrance for approximately 15 minutes. Witness: [name], coworker. Evidence: photograph at 7:44 p.m. Reported to [agency], report number [x], Officer [name]."

D. Respondent's compliance letter

"I acknowledge the Order entered [date]. I surrendered [number] firearms to [agency] on [date]; the receipt is attached and filed. I retrieved my belongings with a civil standby on [date]. I will not contact Petitioner directly, indirectly, or through any third party, and I understand any contact is a violation regardless of Petitioner's response."

Authorities at a glance

Authority	What it supplies
Town of Castle Rock v. Gonzales, 545 U.S. 748 (2005)	No entitlement to police enforcement
DeShaney v. Winnebago County Dep't of Social Services, 489 U.S. 189 (1989)	No affirmative duty to protect
United States v. Rahimi, 602 U.S. 680 (2024)	Disarmament under a qualifying order is constitutional
18 U.S.C. § 922 · § 921	Firearms prohibitions and definitions
18 U.S.C. § 2265 · § 2266	Full faith and credit; mutual-order limitation
18 U.S.C. § 2261 · § 2261a · § 2262	Interstate offenses
28 U.S.C. § 1738b	Custody determinations across state lines
8 U.S.C. § 1154	Immigration self-petition
42 U.S.C. § 1437d · § 1437f · § 3604	Housing protections and transfers
42 U.S.C. § 1983	Civil rights claims, subject to Castle Rock

Failure modes, ranked

Requesting only no-contact, and receiving an order the petitioner cannot use.
Omitting the credible-threat finding, so the federal firearms prohibition never attaches.
No plan for the night of service.
Not appearing at the hearing — either side.
Agreeing to a mutual order for convenience, forfeiting portability and the firearms bar.
Describing rather than preserving messages and photographs.
Exaggerating one incident, discrediting the rest.
Not logging or reporting violations, leaving no pattern for renewal or contempt.
Assuming police will enforce rather than pursuing contempt.
Never claiming the housing, immigration, and employment protections.
Letting the order lapse, unaware that renewal requires only continuing fear.
Respondent contacting the petitioner to apologize, which is itself the violation.

Two matters, worked

The petitioner who asked for everything

Ondine files on a Tuesday with a chronology, photographs of two wall holes, and screenshots of four messages. She requests the full list in Phase 3, including exclusive possession, temporary custody with supervised exchange, support, firearms surrender with a 24-hour deadline and proof of compliance, and an express credible-threat finding.

The court grants all of it. Because the order contains the finding, the federal prohibition of 18 U.S.C. § 922 attaches, and because it contains a surrender deadline and a compliance requirement, the sheriff has something to enforce and the court has a date to check.

She stays with her sister on the night of service, having arranged it three days earlier. She gives copies to the school, the daycare, and her building manager. She enrolls in the address confidentiality program, files a lease-termination notice under the state statute, and — on referral from the court advocate — consults an immigration lawyer about a self-petition, which she did not know existed.

Every one of those steps is on this checklist and none of them is on the court's form.

The respondent who did the right things

A respondent served on a Thursday retains counsel Friday, appears at the hearing, surrenders four firearms within 24 hours with a receipt filed, and does not contact the petitioner — including to apologize, which counsel explained is itself the violation.

At the hearing he does not deny the incidents. He produces the full message threads rather than the excerpts, establishes that one alleged incident occurred on a date he was documented elsewhere, and proposes a specific parenting-time arrangement through a supervised exchange provider.

The order issues, with a shorter duration and a workable parenting schedule. He addresses the licensing report and the background-check entry separately, on their own timelines. A default order would have been longer, broader, and entered on an account nobody tested.

What to say in the first ten minutes

To a petitioner. You do not need to have been hit. The order can give you the house, the children, and support — not just a no-contact provision, and you have to ask for each one. The most important thing we will do today is get a firearms surrender order with a deadline. The most dangerous night is the night he is served, so let us plan that before we file anything. And there are protections for your housing, your job, and your immigration status that nobody at this courthouse will mention.

To a respondent. Appear, or an order will be entered on her account alone. Do not contact her for any reason, including to apologize — that contact is the violation. Surrender the firearms on the deadline and file the receipt. And understand that the durable harms here are not the no-contact provision: they are the firearms prohibition, the report to your licensing board, and the entry that will appear on every background check. We should address all three starting today.

The technology check

A short list, because shared devices and accounts are the most common modern surveillance vector and because the standard advice — "change your passwords" — is not sufficient.

[ ] Change passwords from a device the respondent has never touched, not from the shared laptop or the phone he configured.
[ ] Turn off family location sharing and check for any device sharing your location.
[ ] Review the shared cloud account: photos, messages, backups, and notes frequently sync across devices without anyone remembering.
[ ] Check the vehicle's connected services account, which reports location and driving history.
[ ] Check smart home devices — cameras, doorbells, thermostats, speakers — and who has account access.
[ ] Review applications on any phone the respondent gave or set up, particularly parental-control and device-management software.
[ ] Change the security questions, not just the passwords, since the answers are frequently known.
[ ] Set up a new email address on a new account for court and legal correspondence.
[ ] Enable two-factor authentication using an authenticator application rather than text messages, if the phone plan is shared.
[ ] Consider a new phone number or a separate device for safety-related communication.
[ ] Do not research any of this on a shared device.

Why it matters. Petitioners are routinely located after a move through a mechanism nobody considered — a synced photo library showing a new location, a shared streaming account, a vehicle's service portal. And the account holder on a family phone plan can generally see call and message metadata for every line.

Where surveillance is occurring, it may itself be evidence supporting the petition, and in many states it is independently unlawful under state electronic surveillance statutes. See Cameras, Consent, and the Law of Recording People.

Obtaining or Responding to a Protective Order: A Practical Checklist

How to use this checklist

Phase 1 — Screen eligibility

Phase 2 — Assemble evidence and build the chronology

Phase 3 — Draft the petition

Phase 4 — The ex parte appearance

Phase 5 — Service, and the safety plan

Phase 6 — The full hearing

Phase 7 — Enforcement

Phase 8 — Collateral protections and renewal

Model language

A. Petition narrative

B. Firearms request

C. Violation log entry

D. Respondent's compliance letter

Authorities at a glance

Failure modes, ranked

Two matters, worked

The petitioner who asked for everything

The respondent who did the right things

What to say in the first ten minutes

The technology check

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